Generating buzz

Sometimes when I'm running for President, I'll take a break and watch what the other candidates are doing, taking notes and grading performances.

John McCain gets this past week's highest grade for his medical records document dump / blasting televangelist John Hagee / public balloon testing running mate rumors with 3 popular conservative Republican state governors making the seen-meeting-with list combo move, all executed precisely upon Memorial Day weekend.

The media literally doesn't know what to talk about. [If my old ex-journalism professor in college is reading this, this is what I meant by "the problem with the idea of intentionally writing on an 8th grade vocabulary level for the widest audience possible is that most 8th graders are smarter than journalism professors."]

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton gives the media something to talk about. Hillary Clinton claims she is staying in the race because Barack Hussein Obama could be assassinated like Robert Kennedy any minute now.

The latest attraction in the Museum of Chaos

Democrats in Congress are gaslighting the executives of companies owned by retirement mutual fund investors and private 401(k) plan stock holders into begging them not to try "windfall profits taxing" a product price cut out of them.

You got that, Mr. Oil Company Executive? Stop making the future easier for people that Social Security isn't going to be around for!

Or else!

If the troops really wanted to come home from Iraq

..they'd start shooting Korans.

Ready on day one?

Since the 1830s, the Democratic Party has traditionally come together every 4 years to try to figure out who among them is the most ignorant dipshit, and then they name that lucky contestant as their Presidential candidate.

As should be expected in a "most ignorant dipshit" contest exclusive to Democratic Party membership, the competitions are usually pretty fierce.

Barack Hussein Obama, a crowd favorite in the "most ignorant dipshit" contest due to his strong leftist vote ratings in the Senate, may have clinched it with this comment about Arabic translators:

"We only have a certain number of them and if they are all in Iraq, then its harder for us to use them in Afghanistan"

C'mon, Obama. Admit it, boo. You couldn't point to either country on a map.

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that my leftist readers might not understand why what Obama said in Cape Girardeau is the exemplar of idiocy. Purely an oversight on my part.

Leftists, hold my hand and think of the question: "Senator Obama, can you name the languages spoken in Afghanistan?"

Strategic pause

Smoke 'em if you got 'em, this week is thick with stuftadoo.

Totally inboxicated.

Maps in the smoking room

According to the stat wizards at one of the most historically accurate polling organizations in American politics, Rasmussen, the two Americas currently look like this:



And Hillary Clinton has a miracle to pull off:

She's trying to sway me

Hillary Clinton recently announced that if Iran hypothetically nukes Israel during her hypothetical Presidency, she will "obliterate" Iran.

That's a slight inch closer to my position, enshrined in the Kakistocratic Dystopian Party foreign policy platform - "Iran will be obliterated whenever we want just because we feel like it."

Still she flubs the softball - "What about Iran killing our troops in Iraq?"

Maybe the media forgot that they never tell the American people this.